


Of Weddings… and Funerals

by kakairupowns (miharu)



Series: Segments [15]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-11
Updated: 2009-01-11
Packaged: 2017-10-18 08:51:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/187117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miharu/pseuds/kakairupowns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The girls jump an unsuspecting Sanji, who then contemplates suicide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Weddings… and Funerals

Sanji was ready to kill himself. He resisted the urge, and restrained himself to simply allowing his head to fall down onto the thick wood table with a solid ‘thunk’.

At the sound, the other occupants of the galley looked up at him, seemingly surprised at his reaction.

“Sanji-kun?” Nami questioned, glancing curiously at him from the end of the table. “Something wrong?”

Lifting his head was a huge effort, and something that, in other circumstances, he mightn’t have done at all. However… “No, not at all, Nami-san.” His geniality was seriously strained today, however. “Why do you ask?”

Nami and Robin shared a dubious look, before Robin answered for her nakama. “Well, Sanji-san, normally you’re not one of the crew who tend toward self-harm. Is there something on your mind?” Her melodic voice rang across the cabin, and instead of his usual ecstatic reaction it just made him want to slam his head back down again. Harder. As many times as was necessary in hopes of causing brain damage so that the last hour and a half wouldn’t have occurred. How many times would it take?

Groaning, he let gravity do it’s work, again. _Thud_. Muffled moan. Again. _Thud_. Again.

 _Thudthudthudthudthudthud!_

The girls, it seemed, were back to ignoring him. Quiet giggling could be heard from the other end of the galley, and Sanji, defeated, rested his forehead against the cool wood, heaving a deep sigh and closing his eyes. Why was he so… depressed, you ask? Oh, no reason. Absolutely no reason at all. Unless, of course, you count high class torture on your list of reasons for depression. If having your only two women nakama trick you into getting locked into your own galley, pull out hidden _crates_ of magazines, newspapers, and all other sorts of bits and pieces of advertising needed to discuss, at length, your upcoming _wedding_ to your very _male lover_ and then trot out any and all possible wedding ceremony ideas to you that make you want to curl up into a ball and pretend very _very_ hard that the youngest member of your crew isn’t _sitting right outside the door_ in his human form, making it impossible for you to escape, doesn’t count as a reason, then of course Sanji doesn’t have a reason for his depression.

Oy.

Shaking his head madly back and forth, he slammed his hands up over his ears and squinched his eyes shut tight. They did _not_ just mention a dress, nor the possibility of having one that _complimented his eyes._

No way. Not in a million years.

The only thing that could _possibly_ make this even _worse_ , would be –

Faintly, from outside the galley door, Sanji could hear Zoro’s distinct rumble and Chopper’s quiet, high-pitched reply.

Oh, shit.

– that. Whipping around at the sound of the door opening, Sanji’s wild eyes met Zoro’s calming green. The swordsman had one eyebrow cocked curiously, looking between Sanji and the women, back to Sanji, then back to the _mound_ of ‘reference material’ piled impossibly high on the tabletop.

“We’re docked.” Was all he said, before spinning on his heel and pacing across the deck, presumably to head into port. Gaping after him, Sanji sat in stunned anger. How _dare_ that irrepressible lump just up and _leave him stranded_ in the lion’s den, while he went out to drink himself into a stupor?

That’s it. Zoro was _so_ dead.

… As soon as Sanji escaped, of course.


End file.
